2015

i'm not one to think that a new number on the calendar signifies momentous change and great things.

i realize, however, that i will be experiencing just that in 2015. i am excited to be spending more than 90% of my 2015 in the city of miacatlan, mexico, spending time with the over 600 children that call casa san salvador "home". year after year, while other things in my life change - friends, education, employment, myself - nuestros pequenos hermanos (nph) has stayed a constant.  something about it keeps drawing me back.

i'm not one for cliches (okay, maybe i am..) but ever since the first time i set foot in the house, my world was changed. i found myself saying "you don't fully understand it until you experience it" to others, which i NEVER believed until the first time i was there. the atmosphere in this home is different. it doesn't matter how much money you came from, what year your car is, which iPhone you have. all the material things are SO trivial.

my first year, on the last night before i was coming back to america, we were sitting in the courtyard with some of the children. one child saw that my friend was sad to be leaving, and promptly left, leaving my friend more sad and confused. 2 minutes later, the child emerged with their only stuffed animal, as a gift to my friend so she wouldn't be sad (thus making her bawl harder..). these children have really got life down. they understand it's not about the material stuff - it's about the intangible things. the time, energy, love you exude, when all they know is abandonment and pain.

i am excited to be instrumental in these children's lives, but more excited to see how they will reshape my frame of thinking. there's nothing more fulfilling than being taught by a 6 year old. the simplicity, that life really is that easy. all we need to do is love, and be understanding.

i will be continuing to blog throughout the year, so let me know what you're curious about! open book over here (:

much love, many prayers.

thanksgiving 2014

from a young age, i was challenged by my mother to write down three unique things im thankful for each day. at first it was easy. as time wore on, i thought to myself - i have to start over and write down everything i've already realized i'm thankful for. nope. instead, i expanded my thinking and started thinking of new things each and every day. 

today, i share my three with you:

1. i am thankful for people with differing opinions. i'm not saying everyone needs to vocalize their opinions the way they do, but i appreciate people who think about a situation enough to have a stand on it. the world would be sooo boring if everyone were the same. 

2. i am thankful for tough experiences where you don't know how you're going to get through it. the ones that bring you to tears, and you're overwhelmed. they have given me so much strength and perserverance, and make me realize that i can get through it. it might not be easy, it might not be quick. but it'll be worth it (somehow) in the end.

3. i am thankful for my ability to find the positives in situations. dont get me wrong - i am nottt a ball of sunshine all the time, but i did have a friend tell me that while he is a pretty positive person, i always seem to find a different way to put a positive spin on a situation. instead of not reaching a goal, look at how much better you did today than yesterday. if you're in line at the post office for 25 minutes, you have someone to mail something to, and the money to do it. if it's cold outside, you can feel temperature.

i challenge each of you to do the same. think of three unique things you are thankful for each day, and i promise you, your life will be changed for the better. 

enjoy your day however you choose today - with yourself or your dog, with 20 or 100 people. just be thankful, today and tomorrow. 

i recently was accepted to a program i applied to to be a caregiver volunteer in a house for orphaned and abandoned children in mexico beginning in january. i am very ecstatic, and i instantly thought that i will blog my experience!! i then found my blog i remember starting (and revisited) a few times but not a lot, and read the posts i had about lent! i was very proud, and the opposite of proud at the same time. sometimes when i write, its like something takes over my hands and i type beautiful sentences. other times (now), i cant write a clear thought to save my life. ive struggled at desiring to write through the hard times, and just write. i have a lot going on in my head, and id love to share the thoughts with those who want to read them. 

i am religious. i will have posts that are religious. i will be in a very catholic home for a year (not staying too far from my upbringing). i am not making you read this, and these are my thoughts/views/and opinions. i think long and hard before i choose a topic to write about, especially if its filled with emotion or could be used in a debate. (i always hated the debate units in school. i somehow managed to get sick every time they rolled around! weird.) so read if you want, discuss with me if youre open to it and other views, and enjoy! 

woops. 2/5 isn't the greatest way to start off lent. hmm. guess i can only go up from here, right?? (:

it's not like i wasn't thinking of things to write about the last few days - you can even ask bethany. i mentioned like 6 times that i needed to blog before i went to bed, but that didn't happen. had a few long days, intertwined with a lot of plans, and a lot of nothing, which i desperately need. i have thought all day the last 3 days about what i want to write about, so i'm halfway there, right?

1. i am very thankful for flexibility. flexibility in being able to adjust plans, in being able to understand where people are coming from, and even the physical meaning of flexible.  the last couple days have been a whirlwind of changes of plans. i intended to leave work at 4 on friday, come home and do laundry, catch up on my shows, watch a movie, and go to bed around 8. i was SO excited and looking forward to it from like wednesday when i thought of this wonderful idea. then i was reminded of the show my friend's band was in, so bethany and i went to see it at 7 on friday. then we went to a bar for a few hours, enjoyed some food, drinks, giant jenga, and my favorite - laughs. quite a few of them. that's what makes it all worth it. around 11 i decided i'd had enough, as i'd been up since 4am, and pushing out my bedtime from 8 to midnight was going to make me cranky the next day, but i was so thankful for the luxury of being able to make that decision myself. i don't have my own family to come home for at a certain time, a dog to let out; i can come and go as i please. so i do (:

2. i'm thankful for pinterest. now, hear me out for more than the superficial 20-something girl being obsessed (although, most days that's how i feel). i have not been gifted with a great memory, and i feel like that's a huge benefit of pinterest. i once read an ecard about how if you really want to screw up a woman's life, you delete her account. that really made me think one day, and yeah. i'd be pissed if it was deleted, because i have come across all these great ideas other people have had and wanted to share with the world! i think it's such a great concept! i even have my face on pinterest with jonathan & drew scott, if you're looking for it. (: pretty much famous over here. 

3. yikes, and here i go back on word for the night. i am so tired and so committed to my word that i have napped for a while recently, but no more! i need to sleep, so i will finish the other 2. thanks!

Going with the #tbt Throwback Thursday theme, I thought I'd write about how I'm thankful for my memory. Being able to remember things, while not too much, I am able to remember things. I am thankful for the hard times that I want to forget, and for the things that make me smile time and time again. I've had moments that make me ashamed/embarrassed that such things could come out of my mouth, but as my KWMCAngel told me today, we continue to learn by failing. If we don't screw up, how will we know that pain and take steps to ensure it doesn't happen again?

I remember being in 3rd grade and starting at a new school. I was a quiet shy kid, who knew no one, despite moving only 20 minutes away. I felt alone, and remember crying that first day and the one person who was nice to me was Carrie Albinson. Good and bad memory. I remember getting 2 permanent teeth out to get braces in 6th grade. I didn't have enough novocaine, and I could feel the whole thing. Painful event that lead to a beautiful smile that I've heard is appreciated by many. I remember singing at a talent show in 5th grade, and when my pianist screwed up 3 times in a row, I was very embarrassed and vowed to not sing in public again. I remember being in 11th grade, when I learned I could sing the National Anthem perfectly, so I sang at the boys basketball game against our rivals, and my voice cracked 2 times within the first line. I remember being embarrassed again, but I know I love singing so I don't care.

I remember the feeling of graduating college a semester early, and how great it felt to turn in my final paper that I worked so hard on all semester. I remember studying abroad in Ireland, and all the great people I met from all over the world. I cannot wait for all the new memories I will make in Ireland in the future. I remember all the ups and downs of who I've dated/liked in my life - that's like a whole nother book..not even a blog post. 

I'm able to remember my moments of pain, and turn them into positive things. I don't always see what those positive things are, in the short run, long run, or possibly ever. But I know it's going to all turn out well in the end (:

 

Me in Cobh, Ireland (: I love the Titanic

Definitely a dream come true

kickin' off the lenten blog (:

Here we go. Today is Ash Wednesday, which begins the Lenten season. I've actually been really excited and looking forward to it. Not exactly sure why..maybe because I came up with my "thing" like a month ago. Instead of giving something up like a lot of people do, I decided that for 40 days I was going to write about something I am thankful for. I didn't want it to be like "Today I am thankful for food." or "Today I am thankful for my family". While I am definitely grateful for them, I wanted to take 40 days and really think deeply to things I am thankful for, not all on the surface. Got ya intrigued?? Stick around until Easter (: 

So for my first day, I need to say thanks to the big man upstairs. As if I didn't already thank Him everyday, it only seemed fitting to say thank you today. I am a firm believer in everything happening for a reason, and that sometimes what we think we want is actually not as great as something else we could get in the long run. ie) 2 weeks ago at church, I left my purse in my car during mass. When my mom asked me if I put it in my trunk, her eyes bugged out with my simple reply of "no". If someone needs to steal what's in my purse during church, they clearly need it more than I do. Sometimes I think this mantra might hurt me in the future, but why would I believe it so strongly if I wasn't meant to think that way? Riddle me that.

One thing a lot of people don't know about me is that 5 weeks ago, I got into a car accident. My first one ever. Coming home from a fantastic weekend visiting friends in Iowa, the road conditions were that of a "blizzard". I've braved driving in worse, so I thought "I can do this, no problem". Welp, clearly not. The road conditions weren't terrible, just the visibility was tough - sometimes you could see 30 feet in front of you, and others, you could barely see the hood of your car. At one point when the wind stopped, I could see like 100 feet in front of me and taillights. Not what one expects to see on the freeway. Slamming on my brakes as fast & hard as I could, I managed to clip the back of the lady's car with mine, spinning both into opposite ditches. Both cars ended up being totaled (both were 2002 cars, so a flat tire would almost qualify it is totaled, almost (;), all parties involved were okay - minor whiplash, bruising from the seatbelts. But all I could think of after was that we were all lucky. The roads were not anything to be driving in, and I was reminded that I am not invincible. But it clearly wasn't my time to go - just time to learn a lesson (:

So, to the multiple times I've had God do things in my favor, whether I can see why yet or not, I owe everything to Him. Much more than a blog. Possibly all my positive thoughts during the day, the ability to bring people's moods up, etc. I'm very excited for this journey over the next 40 days, and hopefully I just get in the habit of writing in here everyday with something to touch at least one person (:

pleasantly surprised

So a while ago I asked people what blog site I should use to start blogging. I looked at the suggestions given, and upon research, I see that I started a blog back in college. I would assume it was for a class, as I started Pinterest for a class - for real. I got graded on using it. I also see that in the last 3 years, I've done my smileys "backwards" (: glad to see I've been true to myself over the years.

So I suppose my idea to "start" a blog won't be as hard as I though it'd be! I don't have much to write tonight - I just wanted to research, and now I have a lot more time on my hands. However, upon reading the first post I made, I realized I have the same problem - still don't have a good title for my blog. If anyone has good ideas - throw them my way!