my full heart

today i woke up with empty boxes and a very full heart. this weekend has been everything i needed. i spent time with close family and friends, got to pack for mexico, and it has finally sunk in that in 2 weeks from now, i will be anxiously trying to sleep in preparation for my spanish language school in cuernavaca for two weeks. 

i have been such a rollercoaster of emotions lately. packing up your life as you know it to begin one in a foreign country, is difficult. it is liberating to get rid of a lot of stuff that i really do not need, and having my destination a house where so many people just have the basics really makes me realize i have been so blessed here with my clothes, shoes, bottles of nail polish, scarves - the list goes on and on. 

when i woke up yesterday, i thought my day would be: target and brunch with my mom, followed by a longggg day of packing up coffee mugs, my souvenir shot glasses, etc. i had no idea that when i walked into my house that i would be greeted by 40 people yelling surprise at me! my emotions were so high - anxiety, sadness, exhaustion, excited, overwhelmed - i just started crying. i couldnt believe how many people were at my house for ME. how many people had taken their morning to be at my house getting ready for me to come home to a complete surprise. 

family and friends drove anywhere from one street over, to a couple hours away. i still am in awe, simply because im following a dream ive had for 7 years. i have no idea how to deal with whats going on in my head. i never knew my support system was as large and strong as it is. i hope that with time, words will actually be able to explain how i feel. my gratitude for everyone who has shaped my journey, in one way or another in the last 7 years, is larger than i could ever explain. i never thought id literally be speechless for something, but i also thought that a surprise party couldnt actually be fully carried out for me because i always figure something out/think too much. guess its a weekend of firsts. 

sitting at brunch this morning, i really just felt very calm and happy. thankful to the core. i get sad thinking that itll be a long time until i get to hang out and laugh with my friends until my abs and cheeks hurt, but then i just am thankful for the time ive had with them, and how much i really love them. i am excited to make new friends and memories in mexico, but i am very sad to be leaving such a wonderful life here.

ive told people that my decision to go to mexico was both a no brainer, and the hardest thing ive ever done rolled into one. i  cannot wait to see what 2015 has in store for me. i know a shortage of emotions will not be one of them (: ¡buena suerte a todos y tenga un año inolvidable! good luck to everyone and have an unforgettable year!