Encargado for the day

10 days ago I wrote about how terrible my boys were. I was at the point where I pretty much just wanted to leave. I was starting to feel hopeless. I have 50 boys who don't listen. There are 4 encargados including me on my team, and 4 on the other team. That means that at sometimes we have 8 people watching all 50 boys in the section, and sometimes, when others are busy, or Haley and I are doing our other jobs for the house, the boy year of service are practicing soccer for our upcoming International tournament, or something, sometimes there is only 1 encargado (usually with fewer than the 50 kids).

We have been trying the common tactics that one would instill while taking care of 50 kids.. (; We'd wait until they'd stop talking for us to start, we'd give them consequences, we'd have to yell to get their attention at times, and we all got to the point where we said "how you treat us is how we will treat you". We seemed to had exhausted all our options, and I personally was getting frustrated that I couldn't find a solution to make this work, because I usually am good at finding new ways to do something, or what not.

Here in Mexico, it is quite warm usually. The average temperature her during the middle of the day is about mid80s. We are given work polos - a different color each day, and since I'm usually so warm, I wear a tank top under my work shirt so I can take it off if I start sweating too much. Last Wednesday, one of the kids had taken my work shirt off the ground and just put it on. I told him he should do something for me, since he was now the encargado. Then the employee of the other team told him to do something because he was wearing the encargado shirt, and there was my "ah-ha".

What would happen if we made the kids who lacked the most respect in the section be encargado for the day? They get to give consequences to the others, but they also have to get the kids to listen and do what they're told. I went back and forth with the idea in my head - thinking of the possibilities, and I came to think, "This really could work", so I brought it up to my employee, and she kind of seemed interested and kind of didn't. Not wanting to overstep my boundaries, I left it alone.

This morning, I really had no desire to work, even though our kids have kind of started on the up and up (after last week, I was really hoping they couldn't get any worse, or I don't know what I would've done). I got to the section, and one of my favorites (I shouldn't have them, but I obviously do), told me someone had stolen his bow (and arrow) from his bed this morning. I told him I'd help him look for it, and he began to tell me of another kid who had told him earlier that he was going to steal it. After confronting the kid, and telling me he hadn't taken it, I said we had to go to breakfast and he started crying because he just wanted to find his bow. I said after lunch we'd check with everyone, or we could make a new one. (to which he contested that there was no possible way I could make one better than he had - he's that kind of kid. same kid who told me that I couldn't help him with his 3rd grade homework because I wouldn't understand it. took every ounce of courage to say that I was the only one in the room who had graduated college).

As he and I were walking together in the comedor (dining hall) during breakfast, he said that he thought nobody in the section should be able to go to the Haunted House next week until someone admitted they'd stolen his bow. I figured our employee should know this, so I brought him to her, and told him to suggest the idea to her. She said "Great idea, Juan*! But you do know that if no one gets to go, you're included in that, right?" He said "fair enough". So that was that. After breakfast, we got to the section, and my employee brought up the point that Juan was going to switch places with me for the day - he would be encargado, and his first punishment was going to be that no one would leave until the bow was found.

All the kids were in shock. Juan is known for constantly talking back to the encargados, yelling, not staying in his bed, not following rules, etc. How could he possibly be encargado for the day? How are they going to listen to him? He decides the activities? He decides the punishments? Nope. I was to do Juan's chores for the day, and he was to be me - check that the kids are doing chores, check that they do activities, make sure they're not fighting, etc. He took it very seriously all day, and it was wonderful. I of course stayed by his side for a lot of it (during swimming - someone had to watch them, and he wanted to play, so he let me "take the first watch", then relieved me after an hour when he was tired), to make sure that people would actually listen to him, but I spent a lot of my day saying "I'm not an encargada today - I can't help you, talk to Juan".

I asked if he wanted to help serve lunch Family style (all 600 kids pass through the same 3 lines and can sit wherever they want with whoever they want, versus in their respective sections), or if he wanted to pass through with all the kids and eat with his brothers, but he said he was encargado so he was going to help. I reminded him that encargados always ate last, standing, if there was food left, he said "no problem!". And it really was no problem for him. He helped, passed last, and didn't complain once.

It was very fun to see how he reacted to things. I'd ask a question to see what he'd say, then give him probing questions to make him think outside the box. I can tell this kid's gonna go far. Tonight during prayer, he was checking to make sure everyone's eyes were shut. I took his place on the ground, and at one point he passed by me, tapped me on the shoulder so I looked at him, just for him to tell me to close my eyes. I couldn't stop laughing.

Watching him today was by far one of my favorite days in the house. I talked with him a few months ago about Respect because he was one of the worst kids. He said all the encargados would yell at him, no one would pay attention, etc. I talked him through a lot of stuff, and realized he just needed to be heard. All 3 of his older siblings are the "perfect" ones, and he's definitely not, and I know he tries to be even more different because all he ever hears is "why can't you be more like them?" I understand why he's the way he is. I was working one on one with him for a week straight, to teach him that if he can give more respect to the encargados, that he will also receive it. It's definitely worked, but he still has his moments where I remind him, and he calms down.

I've seen the biggest change in him out of any of my kids, and days like today make me so proud. If I can feel what I felt today with kids of my own someday, I really will feel proud and like parents always say they feel. I don't have biological kids, but I have adoptive ones, and I love them all. Days like today make me want to stay, and make me so sad that I have 2 months left here.

Still gotta make all my Christmas presents and cards for my kids - gotta get going, or I definitely am going to regret this decision later. (:

*name changed for privacy

I can do this.

Today, I was in a "parent's talk" which they give to all the encargados (caretakers), and I really do like them. All together, there are about 30 of us in total on our work weekend (and 30ish on the other work weekend). I feel very comfortable around most of them; the others I just don't know well enough yet. Also, being the only one in the room who doesn't speak Spanish fluently takes a toll on my confidence levels while talking about the development of a child. I'd say I have more "book knowledge" and a lot of experience than a lot of the people in the room, but being the "American", people think because I can't speak Spanish fluently, that I don't know what I'm talking about.

During this talk today, the man in charge of the farm area, "Doc", came and gave a talk to us - to encourage our kids to come learn more about how the animals and plants around the house grow, to take advantage of the resources we have here, as well as feel encouraged to come and have a small garden for themselves and feel a sense of ownership on something in a place where you can frequently feel like 1/600+.

He then said that our jobs as caregivers to all these children is one of the most important jobs anyone could have, and while I know this, and have been reminded time and time again, I really think it is true that we don't hear it enough. I'm not saying it to have people tell me I'm a good caretaker. I'm not here for the recognition. I am aware that a lot of people could not do what I do every day, but I do not go around flaunting it in people's faces that I took care of 35 kids alone for a few hours.

I teared up and almost had to leave the room crying when Doc said that all of us encargados are very strong to put up with this (job), because lately my kids have been terrible. Downright rotten. I have 50 boys. 50 different personalities to care of every day. 50 different opportunities to teach the same lesson in multiple ways to hopefully have it stick.

I love being here, but it isn't always easy. This past weekend was one of the worst weekends I've had here. I hurt my foot playing soccer to the point where it's been difficult to walk on (let alone interact with the kids well), dropped my phone and completely shattered the screen, faced a tarantula (know how hard it is to keep 15+ 13 year old boys away from a tarantula?), and kicked 12 of my boys out of the full-house activities on Sunday because they were misbehaving so badly and making the other employees of the house mad.

Sunday night, I told my kids that days like that didn't make me want to be here. I have 3 months left, and when they act the way they do - not listening, doing the complete opposite of what I say, taking advantage of me, the list goes on. Yes, I know they are children. Yes, I know I need to let them learn. Yes, I myself need to learn how to deal with them. Yes, I know all this. I just don't want my last memories of these children to be that they annoyed me, and I didn't like them (obviously still love them).

Today was a post to say:
- I am thankful for what I have. For the strength to endure days more challenging than I ever thought I'd encounter.
- Be thankful for what you have, because someone out there has it worse (; (today, it's me (;)
- We never stop learning, and growing.
- It's okay to be wrong and admit it at times.
- Compassion is one of the best things we can give in this world.
- Big girls DO cry, Fergie (;

Thanks for the prayers (: One day at a time.

two worlds, one heart.

Recently, I went home to go to my best friends's wedding - by far one of the most beautiful weddings I've ever been to. Nice work, Jessica & Jake, all that hard work REALLY paid off (: I got to spend a weekend celebrating the love of two amazing people who really complement each other. I am so thankful you asked me to stand up by your sides when saying "I do". 

-- myself with the beautiful jessica and jake meyer at their wedding; with my other sorority sister ashley(:

After 2 fun filled days with the best bridesmaids and full wedding party ever, I returned to my parents's house to relax and do nothing (: I purposely made a point to make few to no plans while home.

I went home in July for 4 full days, and I jampacked my schedule so much that I barely had time to sleep; the power went out the night before I left so I wasn't able to upload all the songs to my phone, nor put the photos from my phone on my computer to free up space and take more while I'm down here (I have a desktop in Minnesota).

Tuesday night, I went to the Ed Sheeran Concert with my sister in Minneapolis. She was coming from school in Wisconsin, so as I'm pulling into the parking garage, she texts me the name of the pub she's sitting at waiting for me. I walk up and she says "I ordered you a Bud Light - hope that's okay". I was kind of overtaken with emotion. My sister has recently turned 21*, I haven't seen her in over a year, I was in relaxation mode (which happens like 3 times a year for a couple days), and I was just about to see Ed (: I was so excited! We had such a good time at dinner, then at the concert (: I can't wait to see her again! I'm hoping it's before her college graduation, since I won't be home for Christmas.

-- ed sheeran!

(*My sister turned 21 in August, and I was in Mexico. She left last September to study abroad in Germany, I left for Mexico in January.)

While I was home, I stopped by the Keller Williams office I worked at for 3 years, and saw a lot of people I haven't seen in months! My favorite thing to do is casually walk into somewhere, and see people's reactions - a lot of double takes (: I got to have coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks with a bunch of people, and filled my heart again with the void I was gaining from leaving this part of my life behind. 

-- BANK, as we call ourselves (bethany, brandon, anna, nate, nate, kelly)

As I was saying goodbye to my group of friends on Saturday night before finishing packing and leaving for the airport on Sunday morning at 4am (wait, I procrastinated? noo...) I just couldn't stop crying. Being home, I didn't want to come back to Mexico. I LOVE fall weather, and I did not want to stop wearing sweaters & jeans and not sweating. I love my family, and it is very difficult being away from them for a year - yes, technology helps to call and video connect, but there's just something about eating dinner with your family, or an impromptu movie watching at 11pm. I love my friends, so much. I always am either surprised by the things coming out of their mouths, or I am laughing so hard I'm crying, and getting an ab workout at the same time. I am so thankful for my friends. They're serious when needed, and always have my back 100%. The job I left was amazing, and everyone cared so much about the well being of others. To let someone leave and follow your dreams for a year, and fully support me like they have, has been amazing. I am lucky to have Keller Williams as my family as well.

On the flip side, I have learned so much here - patience, unconditional love, understanding, the value of working hard, forgiveness, letting go of grudges, how to find near many, many ways to do/explain something, how to think about WHY someone did something before getting upset, along many other things. While I am here, I get exhausted daily. I have 48 boys, aged 8-12, in 2nd-5th grade. They are the most diverse group of kids ever. They all have their own personality, and they all do things their way, which can prove to be challenging. I have kids who think they're too cool for me, and then I have kids who will not leave my side. I have kids who are so sweet that I hope they never have a girl come in and hurt them because they will be perfect boyfriends, and then I have kids who are sooo macho I can't wait for them to have a girlfriend to treat well and ground them.

-- impromptu pyramid building in the section

I think about how they all will be in 5 years, at their college graduation, as adults with their own children, and I can't help but get excited and emotional for them. I know that some will go on to college, master's degrees, doctors, politicians, professional soccer players, restaurant owners, and I also know that some of my kids will own little stores, be taxi drivers, sell food, and be completely content with it. The fun part for me is watching these kids realize their dreams, and what they're capable of. Nuestros Pequenos Hermanos teaches them that they can do anything - don't dream too small. There is a leadership program in Seattle for young adults from the 9 homes to learn English and leadership, and return to their home countries to help better where they live.

As I was crying in my car Saturday night, I realized that the reason I'm so sad is that I have my heart in two places. Since I started coming down here in 2007, I've had a small part of my heart here, which increased over time, and now I can say I have half of my heart here. But being home, and realizing all the "1st World Problems" that I had, the things I took for granted (dishwashers, and having your clothes washed and dried within 2 hours), making money, my friends and family, all had half of my heart as well. I feel at home yet a little lost in Minnesota, as I equally feel at home and a little lost in Mexico.

I am getting close to the end of my year here; I have 4 months left. I know these months will fly by SO quickly (I need to start my Christmas gifts now, since I have over 50 to make, and only 3 months to go..!), and I am realizing and becoming more okay with the fact that this chapter in my life will be closing. I will miss my children dearly, more than I can explain, but I know I can come back and visit them. It isn't goodbye, it's see you later (: Like I did to the US 8 months ago (:

i'm baaack!

i know i've been away for a bit. looking today i saw about 10 blog posts that i started and never published 😳 i will look over them, edit and publish with the original date posted. first, i started tutoring a girl who leaves for seattle on thursday for her year of studying english and leadership. i spent pretty much every break i had for 3 months looking for things to teach her, organize worksheets, and teaching class. then, we had summer for 5 weeks, where i was working every day from either 8am-5pm, or 10am-10pm. it was a bit "pesado", which means heavy, to spend all day with all my boys, then sleeping a little (not enough) just to get right back up do the day over again. it was a great time to get to know my boys better, but my sleep and well-being was put on the back burner for a bit.

now school is back in full swing, which i will continue to write about soon (promise!!). first, i thought i'd publish the post i wrote last thursday:

i will never say i know the whole story of nuestros pequeños hermanos, but i can say that every time i learn something new, i pretty much get moved to tears. 

today, i learned about the great people padre wasson's parents william and mary were. i learned that they were passionate about helping people without homes. they would frequently have father wasson when he was a child, sleep on the couch so they could let someone get a good night's sleep in his bed. from a young age, he learned to think of others first- to help them; that by just giving them a bed, you can change their life. 

they then moved to a completely different country because their son had a sickness and the climate was better here in mexico. where he then became a priest. but from such a young age he learned about sacrifice, and what it does for you and others. we learn to be appreciative of things, that the world lacks appreciation on every level (just imagine how different we'd be if we started to say one compliment every time we talked to someone), that a lot of things in this world are trivial and materialistic.

we have so much, yet want more. i think if we all started donating more - money, our time, talents - to others, we would be all happier. it doesnt take a fancy car, the newest cell phone, 40 pairs of shoes (it IS possible to live with only 3 😱) to be happy. the simplicity of life without all that is fantastic - the amount of worries you have drastically decrease when you start putting others before you pretty consistently. 

today, i also heard a story about growing bamboo. that you plant the seeds, and year after year, you cultivate the land, and you dont see any growth until after 5 years. thats a loooong time to wait for a plant to sprout. they then related this to us and our kids here. that we have to teach these kids, to nurture them. we are their parents, and a lot of time may go by before we see the changes we're planting for them. but we have to be patient, because when they do sprout, they will be beautiful.

also, i realized i only have 4 months left here. i am a very emotional person, and i am pretty sure they will go by SO quickly. i feel like i have so much left to do - so many more experiences i want to be a part of with them. i love all of my boys (48 as of friday!!!), and trying to think of leaving them is so hard. i know i can come back and visit them, but it will be different. i wish i could take them all to my house and have 48 kids (not really, but kind of). 

holy week

Mass on Palm Sunday kicked off Holy Week in the house. It was really cool - the house involved some of the older kids to participate in a reenactment of the Stations of the Cross to begin mass. It was so cool! Watching the kids with large palms, and seeing what really happened and why we're celebrating this week. 

(Beginning mass)

(First time Jesus falls)

(Processional from the school to the church)

(Getting nailed to their crosses during mass)

(A cross I found on the gate to the church when I walked by later that day)

It was such a fun experience. Every Wednesday we walk around the church and read the Stations of the Cross, but sometimes it's hard to really focus on them between making sure my boys aren't sticking twigs in other kids ears, or trying to figure out what all the Spanish says. Getting to see them acted out is wonderful - a reminder of what happened, a way to get the children involved, as well as learn in another way than just reading. 

(A crown one of my boys made from the palms)

(Creative little guys I have! All their palms had a whole lot of pieces to them!)

Holy Thursday, we had mass again outside (all week! Which was fantastic). Father washed people's feet, and children had their First Communion. It was fun to see so many children experience a sacrament. 

(Father washing the feet of various people in the house)

(The kids receiving their First Communion with their candles) 

(Some of my boys after their First Communion, and one of my Year of Service that works with me) 

Good Friday, we had mass and Father talked about sacrifice. During mass, a kid brought up a lamb, and Father motioned to kill it (it went with the story he was telling), and hearing all the gasps from the children made me laugh out loud during mass. I think he got his point across pretty well, since the children listened after that. 

Friday night, the older kids got to watch Passion of the Christ. I was so excited, since I love this movie. It really made me think about sacrifices and what it really means. We can make big sacrifices like giving up a year of our life to volunteer in a country where we feel called to go, or sacrifice the extra $5 left over at the end of the month. It is not the same for everyone, but I hope that everyone can experience sacrifice and have it mean something for them. 

(Father using a live lamb to better illustrate his story)

One of my favorite parts about this week was that the kids from the high school came for a few days. It's always fun to see them and talk to them - we get to practice their English, I can have conversations about things other than fighting and toy cars, and I get to joke with people closer to my own age. I've been building relationships with the men shown below for years, and I am so thankful I have them in my life. 

(2 years difference, and one of the funniest and sweetest kids I've ever met in my life)

(My godson and I in 2009, and this past Easter weekend)

(Also, only a 2 year difference, and one of the smartest and the most gentlemanly men I've ever met)(is gentlemanly men a thing?)

Today, we had mass at 6:30 am, and with the time change that just happened in Mexico, mass felt like 5:30. I took my phone off automatic update and changed the clock last night so I could 'win' a round of daylight savings time, but when I got up (late) at 6, and woke up the other girl who didn't need to work today, she asked if it was really 6, to which I replied of course because I was winning DST, only to find out my watch said 4, so it was realy only 5. Daylight savings time - 1, Anna - 0.

Also, one thing I can guarantee I will not miss about Mexico when I leave are the constant fireworks and parties because...life. Fireworks and music started at midnight, and went until 5:30 this morning, so sleep didn't really happen. 

Mass started at 6:30 in the dark of the morning, and ended with the sunrise, coffee (hot chocolate) and donuts for the kids (: Father gave out chocolate eggs to all the kids, and then the egg hunt began! They hide approximately 500 eggs around the house (hundreds of acres of land) and the kids look for them. They hide 4 eggs worth money, but those are obviously more difficult. 

After the egg hunt, the other volunteers with the weekend off just hung out, went to the market, went swimming (I'm getting tan!!!!!), and just relaxed. Called my parents quick, and had a nice relaxing day. 

(One of my boys with a baby bunny from the farm, the Easter baskets Emily made us filled with goodies personalized to each of us, and the other volunteers I work with that attended mass this morning☺️)

More to come soon! The kids have 2 weeks of vacation for Easter, so my schedule is different, and more exhausting, than normal. 

Do you have what it takes to be a godparent?

My goal for the month of April is to get 30 sponsors for children here. I already have received 3 in the last week, which I will not be counting towards my goal. 

To begin, I want to share some facts with you, so you can make an educated decision. For $1 a day you can provide a child with: 
• A safe and loving home
• Clean water
• Nutritious food
• Shoes and clothing
• Health care
• An education
• A brighter future

Mexico is the oldest home of all the NPH homes, and also one of the two largest. We have about 500 kids here right now, as well as about 150 in the high school, and 50 in the university. Most of them have a few sponsors, but are still looking for more. (If you would like to sponsor a child in Honduras, Guatemala, Dominican Republic, Nicaragua, El Salvador, Haiti, Peru, and Bolivia, you are welcome to!!! I just made Mexico my personal goal for the month)

As a sponsor, or godparent as we like to say, you get to build a relationship with a child that you can either choose, or have selected at random. The children range in age from about 1.5 years old up to about 28 while they're in university. Once they graduate high school, they give one year of service to the house to say thank you, or two if they want to go to university (most opt to go). 

As a Sponsor, you will receive:
• A photo of the child
• The child’s personal history
• Annual school progress reports
• Personal letters from the child
• The opportunity to visit the child at NPH
• The chance to enhance your own life by helping a child become independent and self-sufficient 
(For more information on the organization of NPH as a whole, please click here for a link to the NPHUSA website and story of how it began.)

If you sign up to become a sponsor in the month of April, I have some special things I will give to/do for you, but I'm not going to tell you what they are - you'll have to sign up to find out (: 

Another way that I would love support this month is if you are unable to donate your money, please consider sending me an email to anna.hanson26@gmail.com, and I will get you added to the mailing list for future events if you are more able to give of your time. 

Also, if you follow me on social media, I, as well as other volunteers, use the hastag #nphmexico to document our time here, as well as show some of the children doing normal children things (: check me out!

facebook: https://www.facebook.com/anna.j.hanson 

instagram: anhan26

twitter: anhan26

Check out what it's like from the child's perspective to have godparents. 

(a photo of my godson and me)

just keep swimming

i finally lost it. a month and a half with my boys, and i finally broke today. i woke up yesterday, and everything was frustrating me. i realized this and tried to change my attitude, but little things kept irritating me. i was so excited to get to do swimming tests, and take a break from my section for a bit. what a wonderful day we had to do swim tests! 75 and cloudy (: 

i got to check a kids consequence of washing uniforms today for an hour and a half. i have no idea how it took him so long. i was frustrated because he used way too much water, too much soap, and took way too long. i know they're just things, but we really dont need to waste so much water, and he wasnt listening to me about rinsing the clothes. he missed all of activity time, and everyone came back to wash their clothes, and he was still washing uniforms. at the same time, two boys were yelling at me that the other was bothering them, three were passing a ball around naked in the courtyard - not washing their clothes, one was hitting a superman toy against the steps until limbs were coming off, then responding to my question of 'what are you doing? breaking toys?' to 'no, i have 4 arms, but the other one fell off'. its things like this that make me want to cry. so cute, yet so frustrating. mom - i only hope i was this funny when i was annoying. sorry for how annoying i was, and probably how many times i made you cry. 

after cleaning the courtyard of all the soapy water that i'd rung out of pants, my shoes were completely soaked, and i just wanted to cry. i told my boss that i was gonna run to the bathroom and be right back. on my way back, i saw one of the girls i have for additional english classes on thursdays at 5, and she said 'ana, no fuiste a ingles hoy' (you didn't go to english today) and this was icing on the cake. i felt so terrible. i know its only a 30 minute class, but i know what it feels like when my students dont come to class and i felt terrible that i made my girls feel that way, too. 

as i was typing this blog post in the section today, one of the boys asked to borrow my phone and typed 'hello ana. te quiero' which means 'hello anna. i love you'. it was cute, and made me smile (:

as challenging as this can be at times, it's my job. all jobs have ups and downs, and going into this i knew this would happen. going into bedtime, i was still a little worked up, but saying goodnight to 34 boys, who pretty much all give me kisses (i'd say i leave with well over 300 goodnight kisses), i feel way better when i leave. 

the reasons that make everything better:

(as annoying as this is, still makes me laugh) 

(ill take it(: )

(reading time!!!)